And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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