people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize