Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
