Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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