were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
