im having a threesome with these popsicles
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
