Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
