Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
