I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
