batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
