What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
