Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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