Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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