Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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