My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
