She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
