So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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