i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
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