I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
