i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
