I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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