What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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