I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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