I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
