Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
