we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
