i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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