I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
