Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
