I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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