I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
