Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
