Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize
