i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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