The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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