I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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