After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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