drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
