so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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