So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize