beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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