Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Rumble strips road head = magical
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
