ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You took a bar mat shot.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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