Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
