My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize