may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
