Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
