just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
