If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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