I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
