The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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