Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
