It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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