this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
