so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
