I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
