homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
