Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
