dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
